Friday, March 20, 2015

Hindsight On Hindsight 107

I am now convinced the mother nature hates us and wants us to die. Either that or Ragnarok is finally upon us. This is just the beginning of a five year long winter, the end of which will see Loki's children being freed from their bonds and equal will attack equal. And if that's how shit is going down I'm finding the damn tree that's supposed to house the Norse Adam and Eve first...I may or may not sneak in some of you bitches as well. I'll do my best.




I would like to really quickly take this space to give a shout out to the voice to text capabilities of my phone for correctly spelling out Ragnarok. Even if it did immediately spell out rock block after I tried to congratulate it. You go little phone!

Now it's time to snuggle up under our Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle blankets because it's fucking cold, but also because there's another installment of Hindsight On Hindsight to get through.


I think I have now made peace with the fact that we'll never know which came first, the chicken or the-- ugh there I go again! I meant we'll never find out who called Becca to the hospital. And I...


Hmmmm

Ahem...well now because of this daydream sequence I don't care. Touché VH1. 
***


Becca, he can't think about sex all the time. We're in a government shut down, jeez! Checks before sex, girl.
***
Now that I re read that last sentence, 'Checks before sex' sounds like it should be some sort of sex ed motto. Know your partners medical history before you know them in the carnal sense people. It's just good advice really.
***



We walk in on Lolly crying about some Noxema girl on 90210. I never was into 90210, it was boring to me so I kind of don't care about this reference. I was also too young to really get it or appreciate it. Perhaps I should give it a second chance now that I'm older and possibly its past target demographic. We jump topics from the boring ass Thanksgiving Day Parade to Becca's unhappy vagina.

She's worried because her and Sean aren't having sex when they used to do it  quite literally everywhere. There is a good chance that Becca might be on Taxi Cab Confessions from what I'm gathering.
***

To be honest, maybe Sean is maturing and settling quicker than usual. I mean she is the one that fucked with every one's timeline. That kind of stuff has to play on your emotional state. 

However there really should have been some sort of getting back together sex. It usually happens and withholding sex could be a sign that maybe even Sean isn't still sure of this rekindling of their romance. I mean we haven't seen anything yet that would suggest that but, foreshadowing? 


Maybe he's calming down, maybe he's scared to get close. It's about 50/50 at this point.
***



I do have to give Sean props. At least he has the balls to talk face to face to the girl he was trying to woo not moments before and tell her that he's back with his ex. 

But in her place of work, dude? Tacky! When you have to work you don't want to get bad news. I even hate it when my family calls me with medical emergencies at my job. If I'm not able to leave right then and there, and chances are I'm not due to my status as supervisor and being broke, it just adds more stress.
***

I really wonder how this will affect Paige and Becca's relationship. I was liking the idea of them as friends.
***



At first I was confused why his father was riding his ass so hard. I mean yeah, he's making sucky decisions but his academic failings are on him not you. This is more of a High school talk than a college one. Then I realized his father is paying for his college ride, although not anymore. Now it's up to I-Think-I'm-John-Cusack Jamie.
***




"You can't be serious."

Gods Jamie, you're such a trust fund baby. What is this?
***


Becca's Aunt is going to be the middle aged version of Lolly. Calling it right now.
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More like Awkward Cab Confessions. I can understand his nervousness, but he was the one that was walked out on. What could her family possibly have against him?

Although, he did punch out Andy Kelly.
***



Aaaaand Meerkat did not break up with Andy. Interesting.
***



I'm pretty sure that Becca is actually trying to put a subtle sleeper hold on Melanie in this scene, and I will not judge her.
***



Ever since the door Andy looks like he wants to poison everyone.
***



"If someone doesn't cut the mustard, you cut them off."

Preach, bitch!
***

I know that after Melanie asked if there was anything she could do Becca said, "String the cranberries." 

For a moment though, it really sounded like that first word was strangle. If Becca would have told her to strangle herself on Thanksgiving, I think I would have died.
***
"How kind of you to offer it to me."

Oh Melanie, you're just getting all of Becca's toss offs.
***



Seriously, I will poison everyone before the night is out.
***



"Just so there isn't any lingering confusion, I don't have feelings for her."

And I almost peed myself. Whatever gets you through sex with Meerkat.
***

Now we get to spy on Jamie stealing his father's money and almost getting caught trying to steal his RX pads. Bad Jamie, no drug of choice!
***


Oh Becca, you're going to have to drink a little more than that if both your mom and your nemesis are going to be ragging on you about marriage. 

May I suggest slipping a little Everclear into your wine? It always helps me.
***
I like how Sean just casually rubs his thumbs all over a recent burn like that shit won't hurt. Good job.
***
"This happened before."

Hmmm, if she is setting the timeline right, what will that say about their future relationship should they decide to stay together?
***


Giggidy.
***



So Meerkat's going to burn this bitch to the ground while Andy poisons the survivors. I don't like her but I do like homicidal couples. 

...conflicted.
***



Ugh, coke is creepy. Why couldn't he stay a silly stoner or a brooding drunk?
***
Selling coke will definitely cover your semester. Still gross.
***

Hoe, don't do it!


Oh my Gods.
***
It's OK, I still hold his heart on Twitter. I'm not bitter.
***
I'm certain that Melanie is doing this to piss off Becca. If I was her and I had just gone through all that bullshit with the kiss and then being petty, and then especially after hearing how my boyfriend was in a car accident because he was going to proclaim his love for my nemesis, I would not be preparing myself to say yes to the dress anytime soon. 
***

I too would like to curl into the fetal position after watching that. Make room.
***
I love Aunts that drink too much wine at family gatherings. Wine Aunt is my life goal, even if I'm more of a Vodka Shot Aunt. You catch the drift I'm throwing I'm sure.
***

This is the perpetual face of a Wine Aunt.
***

Jamie joins the tail end of Thanksgiving after his coke filled bathroom rendezvous. He seems way too chill. Why is he not cleaning everything in the house? Did he accidentally snort baking soda? 
***

"I think I need something stronger than wine."

Jamie is in his room. He could help.
***

I think an Arrested Developmentesque "I've made a huge mistake." belongs here.
***
Lolly may not think Melanie is stupid, but I do. And don't think I didn't notice Meerkat's doubting expressions while Lolly was rambling on about how much she respected the love Melanie had for Andy.
***

"I'm chasing this, but this is gone."

And here we witness the hazards of letting a Wine Aunt speak openly at a family gathering.
***



I was wondering where the hell Bitchy Phoebe was through out this whole gathering.
***
Wine Aunt is Bitchy Phoebe's mom. Good to know.
***
I'm getting the feeling that the trip to the Dominican Republic is something that has happened in the original timeline. If it has then I'm also confused how Becca can remember a Halloween costume she wore the year before but not this until this scene. 
***

Lolly may be more fun than Phoebe on the regular, but you weren't there a couple episodes back drunky. Don't completely discount your daughter.
***

Oh jeez, I know that look by now. Kevin is bad news. 



Absolutely.

Post Edit:
I posted this using the Blogger app. I'm now noticing that not only did the app switch my font colors halfway through this, it's also switched the font style and size. I've fixed the colors, but I've tried three times to get the lettering consistent, sorry for that.